I have an ugly bruise from yet another test. It is on the crook of my elbow and in yoga today, I wanted it to be seen. As a woman with an illness, I am the baby of a large family through and through. I want desperately for someone to notice me. To hold me and tell me that I will be okay.
But I am a grown woman. My parents are dead. I have children to raise, a husband to manage, bills to pay. And I know that everything might not be okay. And still, I just want someone to notice me.
Lyme rage certainly gets me noticed. I now know what my greatest healing stretch will be: getting enough support so I can keep my children safe from my rage. I love them and I know they are struggling too. But the anxiety and rage get the best of me. I remind myself of my dad when he was on the edge of a heart attack. The diseased body can do terrifically terrible things to our psyche.