When I hung that picture of Ted Nugent in my 8th grade locker, I never imagined I would later learn he was a Republican. I also never imagined that my children would be diagnosed with Cat Scratch Fever, or “Bartonella”. Today we saw our LLMD, who the little guy now calls, “Dr. Cheeseburger”. The Lyme results are still pending but the Bartonella results are clear as a bell.
So, after months of being damn sure I have Bartonella, even more sure that my kids do, why is it that I have been sobbing all day? Bartonella is a very serious infectious disease. I gave it to my little boys. Treating it will be difficult. This is one of those days when I don’t know why we are fighting anymore. It all just seems too big.
Can you cure Bartonella? I don’t know anyone who has. Get the bacteria load down. Great. And to what end?
I do know that I am pissed off. Three years ago when Finn was hospitalized at The University of Minnesota with suspected “Cat Scratch Fever” if they would have tested him, treatment would be almost over instead of just beginning. I’m pissed. He started responding so they didn’t pursue the testing. Criminal. Absolutely criminal.
We saw the family therapist today who is recommending that I need to Rest, tap into Resources, go on a retreat and learn to receive. He says I need to let other people help with childcare so I don’t eat my young or worse. He might as well have suggested eating relish and ratting my hair. All the other “R” suggestions seem just as absurd right now.
My LLMD prescribed a drug that is dangerous for kids under 18. Dangerous for their bone development. Dangerous to their tendons. All around bad idea.
Why is this such a fucking nightmare and when is it going to stop?