Felt like re-publishing this as its own post.
When my mom was sick with breast cancer, my dad, who had died 11 years previous, came to her in a dream. He said, “This isn’t a walk in the park.” It turns out she actually had a tumor in her pancreas, and treatment from the breast cancer caused a metastasis of that cancer. She wanted to find a deeper meaning in all of her visits from my dad, and in her illness.
Now, it is my turn to find the deeper meanings. And to understand why I wasn’t given a clean, clear, sunny walk in the park. My turn to define what it means to be me. I’m a woman. A mother. A daughter. A Creative Being with hopes and dreams. I was bit by a tick in 1985, my senior year of college(and some before and after, I’m sure) and it changed the course of my life. Now, as a parent of two children with congenital lyme, I have to re-define myself. I’m not a lyme warrior. I’m not an advocate. I don’t want to be defined by my illness AND I don’t want to deny it. I’ve had friends ignore me, had family members turn their backs and I’ve found true sisters who understand me even through my illness, and even though our history to date is short. I don’t want to live in my loss, AND I want to build and plan a future. Walk with me as I explore.
There's only us There's only this Forget regret-- or life is yours to miss. No other road No other way No day but today There's only yes Only tonight We must let go To know what is alright No other course No other way No day but today I can't control My destiny I trust my soul My only hope is just to be There's only now There's only here Give in to love Or live in fear No other path No other way No day but today