Our Lives as Rubik’s Cubes

So, as we were driving to the Senate Hearing on the Bill to protect docs who treat lyme by clinical diagnosis, Molly, my son, my husband and myself were all discussing Lyme Treatment, of course.

I know one person who has lyme that is well. ONE. And I only know her virtually. She has saved my life on more than one occasion. And my marriage. She lived in hell, like the rest of us, but now she has clarity. She KNOWS that all this ‘fighting for our lives’ business is worth it. Good thing, because most of the time there is nothing in my life to make me believe that. So, I need to trust her.

But, why is she well? And how does one person being well give me hope, when there are thousands who are not, many who have died this year alone, and kids being born to moms with un-diagnosed lyme every day?

Because if one person figured out treatment for her particular form of this insipid disease, then more of us can. It is like a Rubik’s cube. My friend Leland can do one in no-time-flat. Me? Not so much. My sons work it with the instruction booklet. Try one twist to the right. One to the left. Get ahead. Step backward. Get boxed into a dark alley by Bartonella. Waltz around with Babesia. Try another herb, another antibiotic. Add another layer, try another probiotic. What about frequency therapy? Sauna? How about light therapy? Diet? Raw Foods?

Yep. If I know 200 people with CHRONIC LYME disease, there are 200 different rubiks cubes to solve. When I used this analogy, my kid with serious cognitive trouble glares at me. “But MOM! I can’t solve the Rubik’s Cube!” Nope. Neither can I. That’s why we have Anne coming over with Freddy to help us on Wednesday. Carrie in the afternoon. Dr. P. sees me on Wednesday. Isabelle is going to sew some casings and hems to get some curtains on our windows, finally. That frees up the little energy I have to make appointments for the acupuncturist, check in with the frequency therapist, administer coffee enemas, the coconut oil, the homeopathics. We just keep twisting until we find something that feels like it is working.

Too many cooks spoil the soup? Is it like a big wapatooie party where everyone throws the liquor in the Kool-Aid and everyone gets loaded? Kind of feels that way. . but it isn’t. We have to find the right combination because there is no protocol that works for everybody. Nothing like a life threatening illness to make you learn to trust yourself. Nothing quite like it.

Now, back to the rubik’s cube.

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One response to “Our Lives as Rubik’s Cubes

  1. It feels like Lyme cases are developing everywhere yet I know no one with it. Not that I’m saying I should, I would never hope such a thing…it’s just hard, I guess.

    PS I have always sucked at rubiks cubes. Er..

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