I’m on day 30, now. Taking vial 10 and the thing that I notice most is that fatigue is quick to fill up the vacuum that is created by the anxiety leaving.
When anxiety raged high, it propelled me into doing. Having spent a whole lot of the last few weeks on the couch, I was really thinking this was a phase.
And then, my OT told me that she was worried about me. That I look extremely tired. That my body is tired. That my joints are behaving in a way that it not normal, but consistent with Lyme.
She’s right. I’m more scared by the issues in my biceps tendon than I was about my hip. They are nearly identical. But, the waking at night business is much more intense than it was with the hip. Seems like I’ll never get enough rest.
I don’t like vacuums. They make me nervous, always waiting to be filled. But, I didn’t get to chose, and I don’t know how to settle into this next phase, but I will. What choice do I have?
So, I keep on keepin’ on. Whatever it looks like.