Choosing Legal Guardians

So, everyone writes a will, right? And, choosing guardians for your kids, you all do it, right?

It is often a sister, a brother, a close friend. People say yes, because it is highly unlikely that both parents will die.

What about our situation? Two years ago we started to get really serious about looking. Robert’s heart was doing bizarre things and I was blacking out with my blood pressure. Then we got caught up in the diagnosis, the treatments and then more diagnosis and treatments and we didn’t want to face the fact that we could both die, and that could was more likely for us than for most couples.

We’ve had a few volunteers for Aidan, but nothing on paper. We’ve had a couple of offers from friends of friends, nearing retirement, but with our isolation situation, we don’t see either of those couples very often.

So, it feels like we are back to square one. Our oldest son is 14, so in a couple of years, and with support from our families and friends, he could push for emancipation, and stay in the house.

We could send them to London to live with their “brother,” but as soon to be newlyweds, I don’t think that would be best for their relationship. Not to mention that fact that grieving the loss of your parents would really suck in another country, even if the people you are living with love you like their own, and you love them the same.

All of my siblings are all old enough to be or are grandparents. Robert’s siblings don’t have lives that would be served by dropping 2 kids into their laps.

I have a few friends who have offered to wash my hair, but take my kids? I can’t even imagine. Maybe the volvo mechanic. Or one of my physical therapists. Their dentist is a nice man, maybe him.

I’m don’t want my kids to end up in foster care because they are too hard to handle, or too medically fragile.

So, what’s a mom to do, except to stay in denial about it, continue to rest to get well (instead of fight to get well)?

That has to be my new mantra. I am going to rest to get well. Allow healing to happen rather than fight for it and push for it. Because I have no other answers.


4 responses to “Choosing Legal Guardians

  1. I will rest to get well. That is exactly what I have been thinking about…Fighting to get well takes so much energy…and keeps us out of balance with the rest of our lives in my thinking. It is just so hard, as a fighter to step aside from pushing forward and just rest while the herbal antiiotics,, supplements, diet, etc. do the fighting for me.
    Your words resonated with me…..
    Also, it must be so difficult to make decisions concerning the welfare of your children.
    With thoughts of you…

  2. How do we get a hold of each other? I think this gives you my e-mail…sending you baby love (that in it’s purest form:))

  3. I have absolutely NOBODY to take Cody if we die, and Ryan is 20 but I cannot even begin to imagine how he would possibly take care of himself with no guidance. Worst yet, in all reality, he would be stuck with Cody and that would be a living nightmare. I don’t know what to do, I have no choices. No family, no friends. Cody is a very high maintenance child. That is putting it mildly. We don’t even have a will and we need one. I pray nothing will happen to us, or at least until Ryan is mature enough to raise him. But again, someone needs to oversee Ryan even though he is legally an adult. It’s a nightmare I hope never happens, but I think about it EVERY TIME Blake and I get into a car together. I need to start driving myself places alone more.

  4. Oh, and Jeanne? Seriously, Blake and I would take your children. We have a huge house, huge hearts, know what to do with Lyme kids, and live close to Dr. Jones.

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