Persistent vs. Chronic

I don’t like the word, “chronic” applied to my daily struggle. It sucks the hope right out of me. I don’t want to be chronically ill. Years ago, when I was around a whole lot of people doing spiritual work, a woman told me that she always wrote, “Healing,” when a form or an application asked for current employment or position.

I am healing. I am healing from persistent infections that have taken me down over the past 27 or so years. I am healing from persistent infections that very few people are researching a cure for. I have treated for a considerable amount of time, and yes, all of these infections are so incredibly persistent. Some days, I feel better, but overall, I don’t often feel like I’m winning my fight.

I want to be one of those people in the 10% that are on their way to beating or have beaten this illness. I don’t want to be in the 90% that appear to be chronic.

So, how do I go from one group to the other? Attitude is everything, or so “they” say. I think they are wrong. I think the recipe is 1 part attitude, 3 parts passion for life, 5 parts finding the right doctor or practitioner to guide your journey. Throw in thousands of dollars to be able to treat. Add a little luck for the right social security attorney and judge. Extra bonus for an organization like Pathways. Then subtract the number of people in your family infected, after you multiply that number by 10. Finally, take the number of great friends and family (and in my case my current and former student family) that stick by you through everything and multiply that with enormous love.

That’s where you get your answer. And that answer can only be hope.

That’s the recipe that I believe to be true. I’m missing a few things, so I have to keep making shifts. I move things around and do what I can to solve the equation.

It’s persistent. And difficult. But I need to hold on to hope.


7 responses to “Persistent vs. Chronic

  1. I added your web page to my lyme links on my blog… hugs.. Jules ♥

  2. 10% ~ oh that bites. I want to be in that group too….I have been sick fro 27 yrs too. Still, I do not give up hope. It is what keeps us going..makes healing possible.

  3. “Attitude is everything” is just the New Age way of blaming the victim.

  4. Thank you for this. This was exactly what I needed today. I don’t like the word “chronic” either.

  5. I want to just share because I understand isolation. I also understand chronic pain. Insight is not something I will claim the high ground on.

    You write great, but I bet you feel like S***.

  6. Your determination and hope is so inspiring. “Healing” is such an inspirational word within itself. Our organization, Good Days from Chronic Disease Fund, helps patients receive the care they need to work toward healing. We could use more people like you to work with us! Visit our website for more information on our mission and how you can help,

    • If my hope and determination is so inspiring, should my infectious diseases be covered by your illness? Lyme and co-infections (multiple infectious disease syndrome) appears to be one of the Bastard children, once again. Thank you for your comment, but please consider tick borne illnesses in your work. They are devastating.

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