I did it. I gave up the internet for Lent. And it is hard. I’m writing/reading/blogging more. And on Mondays I get to jump on the internet and do some essential business, including posting.
The calming of the chaos and restricting the constant “being available” to everyone is teaching me big things, already. And some of those things are deeply unpleasant. When I stay busy and over connected, I am disconnected from the truth about how complex the health issues of my kids truly are. And, at the same time, I have to be faced to face with he lack of power and control I lack around fixing them and making them well. I see my impatience in every moment.
I am not powerless. I have the chance to act, and I do. But sometimes, I act too frequently. Processing everything that is going on via internet boards, facebook groups, etc. doesn’t give me back any of that power or give me any more control. This is my life, even if I stay too busy to focus on it.
Maybe it is more important just to observe. Watch. Listen. Trust.
It’s rough here in the quiet.