About Me

I’m not a gardener.  Well, metaphorically speaking, I guess.  I shovel shit.  I clean up messes.  I plant shit and it grows.  It withers.  I fight to keep it alive.  And at a certain point, I just have to trust.  That’s my stretch.  I don’t trust much.  Not people.  Not God.  Not the Universe.  Not Family.  Again, that is my big soul lesson, and I’m working it, and working it good.  I had a teacher that once told me that soul lessons are learned.  And then, when you’ve got it learned, the universe flips the lesson on its ear and shows it to you again.  And again, and again.  Coupled with the trust lesson, is the lesson on support.  I struggle daily about how to get it, how to deal with feelings of abandonment.  Again, multi-faceted lessons knock me on my ass everytime.

As one of my oldest friends reminded me today, “Well behaved Women Rarely Make History”.

This is my blog. I use metaphor, I process, and I take creative liberties. At times I disrespect people and joke at their expense, but I don’t mean it literally. I use METAPHOR.

  • Main Entry: met·a·phor
  • Pronunciation: \ˈme-tə-ˌfȯr also -fər\
  • Function: noun
  • Etymology: Middle English methaphor, from Middle French or Latin; Middle French metaphore,from Latin metaphora, from Greek, from metapherein to transfer, from meta- + pherein to bear — more at bear
  • Date: 15th century

1 : a figure of speech in which a word or phrase literally denoting one kind of object or idea is used in place of another to suggest a likeness or analogy between them (as in drowning in money);broadly : figurative language — compare simile
2 : an object, activity, or idea treated as a metaphor : symbol 2

met·a·phor·ic \ˌme-tə-ˈfȯr-ik, –ˈfär-\ or met·a·phor·i·cal \-i-kəl\ adjective

met·a·phor·i·cal·ly \-i-k(ə-)lē\ adverb

This blog helps me to survive. Both as a mom of sick kids and as a person with two parasitic infections and one bacterial infection that flourishes in the CNS and brain tissue.

Spend a day in my shoes, and you’ll take shots where you can.

If you understand, you understand. If you don’t, you don’t. I have to do my life the best I can. Maybe I’ll call David Sedaris for pointers.

I was bit by a tick in 1985, my senior year of college(and some before and after, I’m sure) and it changed the course of my life. Now, as a parent of two children with congenital lyme, I have to re-define myself. I’m not a lyme warrior. I’m not an advocate. I don’t want to be defined by my illness AND I don’t want to deny it. I don’t want to live in my loss, AND I want to build and plan a future.

If you think I have made Lyme my identity, feel free to help me figure out how to do it differently. I need help with that, because I rarely have moments when my bones don’t hurt me to tears, and when I don’t think my brain is rotting, which it appears to be doing until we get the Bartonella under control. And I don’t know how to do this. There is no protocol for Lyme. There aren’t a whole lot of role models for folks who have an entire family that is chronically ill.

If I offend you, I am sorry. Walk my life for a day and tell me you would do it differently.

There's only us
There's only this
Forget regret-- or life is yours to miss.
No other road
No other way
No day but today

There's only yes
Only tonight
We must let go
To know what is alright
No other course
No other way
No day but today

I can't control
My destiny
I trust my soul
My only hope
is just to be

There's only now
There's only here
Give in to love
Or live in fear
No other path
No other way
No day but today
From "Rent"
Advertisements

7 responses to “About Me

  1. Ummm.. MY FAVORITE show is RENT… it changed my life. My dream is to play Maureen, and that song is my FAV!! It gave me the chills to see it here on your site. I sing rent on my worst of days.. I just belt it out to feel alive. 🙂

  2. “If you think I have made Lyme my identity, feel free to help me figure out how to do it differently.”

    I feel the EXACT same way and feel I’ve been attacked by friends and family for doing this in light of many recent medical setbacks. I just don’t know how to handle it!! Oh, I’m neutropenic but what the fuck, tomorrow’s Halloween! Woo hoo! Cody can’t go trick or treating because he has the swine flu, but anyway, hope y’all have fun!

  3. Be a Lymes Warrior Princess and crusade through the mental fog with me 🙂 Being a warrior just means your still fighting and you haven’t given up. Not that it’s a part of every conversation. Stay strong, stay metaphoric and stay sarcastic. 🙂

    “Surely its not what you do, but its the way that you do it”

    Thanks for your comment 🙂 .

    http://somethinginbetweenthelymes.wordpress.com/

  4. Thank you for this blog.
    I have a 5 yr old
    W/ congenital Lyme recently diagnosed.

  5. redbluegreen4066

    I don’t know why you should have to apologize. It’s okay to be angry.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s